Porn is love you can see.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
