What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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