You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
