so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
