I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
