Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
