I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
what day is it and did you see me today?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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