Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
