I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
