First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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