new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
we made out on top of his cat.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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