to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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