What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
