Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
