No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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