Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize