I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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