You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
