She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
