I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize