And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
