And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
