Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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