College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
