You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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