Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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