she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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