You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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