she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
