i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Randomize
