I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
