I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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