SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
