told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Girls should come with a carfax report
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
