wat bout pragnant strippers??
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
