is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
