Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
