how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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