walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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