What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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