yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
