I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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