I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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