i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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