I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
