I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
