I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
