At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
