problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Sorry my hands just texted you
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
