At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Randomize
