Your face is a jimmy john
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
two words...techno handjob
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm both gender and math confused
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
