No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Less talking, more tequila
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
