Nicole vs. Life
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
