oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
